Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should.

11 months since Jesus took over my heart and started this painful/amazing refining process.

11 months and this last week I was ready to take gasoline and a match to it. Watch it burn and do what I want. DO WHAT I WANT.

Yes this last week I was full of rebellion. Why you ask?

Satan. and timing.

Satan is all about timing and he always is looking waiting for those moments. Those moments?

My bible study that runs from September to May ended and I had 7 days of no bible study. Well actually I have the solid summer of not having that bible study. It took 7 days for me to want to just run back and do WHAT I WANTED.


Its always 7 days it seems. Lots can happen in a week. So last week the week I was almost willing to take that can of gasoline and get a match and burn this process to pieces...it was the week 'Fifty Shades of Grey' came out on dvd.

Never did I think it would affect me that the dvd release would bother me.

Satan was smarter though.

He saw me taking my 7 days and enjoying no bible study, not being in the word and was beyond thrilled to be there tempting me. "yes I have her right where I want her, lets let her see the posters everywhere and see the many dvds just laying beautifully on the shelves of the grocery store". "lets let her have lots of time while her kid naps and get her mind on how cute that actor is and how good that trailer is, its just the trailer, how could it really hurt". These are just some of what I'm sure he was thinking when he had his mind on me.

Yes you see Satan is Jesus' enemy. Its no joke. They are literally good vs. evil. They are the bed rock of every movie and book with the good vs. evil story complex. That is where the good vs. evil all came from. All of it. Satan hates HATES Jesus. He wants to be Him, to have His power. He can't though and I won't go into detail how Satan lost his role in heaven and all that goes with it. I'll just tell you he is on this earth and his purpose is to make this earth his and the people on it his followers.

Now if your a christian and you follow Jesus, well he doesn't like it. He hates it.

Making this personal just because I feel more comfortable making it personal instead of sounding like a preacher up on the stage, he wants to ruin me. This whole refining isn't what he wants for me.

He wants me to live in this world. The very world he was released in. He wants me to lust, have affairs, cheat, watch that movie, read that book, gossip, kill, hate, you name it.

The Bible describes Satan like this:

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  1 Peter 5:8

Devourto consume destructively, recklessly, or wantonly. 

He wants to destruct me. To make my mind reckless full of the world. 

11 months ago he was doing a great job of it. 

I was reading the 3rd book of the 50 Shade trilogy.   But Jesus had enough. He wasn't going to let me go down the worldly path anymore.  (if you are new to my blog please read the very first blog post because its about 50 Shades and how Jesus took over.)

Now 11 months later and I feel like a whole new person. Yes a whole new one. I cannot even dictate or describe how much Jesus has changed me. My heart, my brain, my being, my soul, my body, my walk is ALL DIFFERENT because I STOPPED DOING WHATEVER I WANTED. 

Sounds like a prison sentence you say? Who wants to not do what they want?

The world tells you to follow your heart. 
Do what you love.
Be who you want to be.
Do what makes you happy.
 on and on I could go.

The world is ruled by Satan. Whether your a believer or not. Doesn't matter what you believe. He is completely in this world. Don't forget that. 

Love this verse:

He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is NO truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the FATHER OF LIES. John 8:44

 Father of lies. Yes that means he started the whole lying process.

He lied to me for years and years. Telling me that shows and books and stuff with sex in it, the sleeping with Kyle before marriage was ok. 

It was okay to view that on HBO, that nudity. 
It was okay to read that book about a guy beating that girl and thinking its love.
Its okay to buy that dvd and view it several times. 

Do what you love right?

Satan has gotten away with so many lies with me. Just this last week he almost had me again. 

"get that dvd and watch it, its really not going to change you or the process"

"Its okay as a christian to watch that movie because you still love Jesus and your hubby"

"its okay to take breaks and DO WHAT YOU WANT, life is short"

Yes those thoughts intoxicated me when I was staring state at a dvd stand of 50 Shades. 

I didn't get the dvd. I didn't see it.    But again I almost did. 

I said it before if I would watch that movie or finish the 3rd book ( again read very first blog post to understand) I would be taking gasoline and a match to this process.

Why didn't I just burn it you say?


I really love Him. 

Just typing that "I really love Him" makes me cry.  

I love Him. 

He is worth all the sacrifices. He is worthy of my complete obedience. I so wish everyone could feel this love.

My complete obedience is fleeing from that dvd and not watching it or finishing book 3 this summer. Next time I go into that grocery store and see that dvd stand (I'm sure it will be there next week to) I'm going to quote scripture outloud. I don't care if people think I'm nuts. 

Jesus gave me the best scripture today that I plan on meditating this whole summer long.

Psalm 119 (The Message version)

Its super long so I'll just share snip its of it. Please take some time to read it this summer! And please read this below its truly the best stuff I've ever read in The Bible:

 You’re blessed when you follow his directions,
    doing your best to find him.
That’s right—you don’t go off on your own;
    you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
    now you expect us to live it.

 I’m single-minded in pursuit of you;
    don’t let me miss the road signs you’ve posted.
I’ve banked your promises in the vault of my heart
    so I won’t sin myself bankrupt.

 My soul is starved and hungry, ravenous!—
    insatiable for your nourishing commands.
And those who think they know so much,
    ignoring everything you tell them—let them have it!

 Don’t ever deprive me of truth, not ever—
    your commandments are what I depend on.
Oh, I’ll guard with my life what you’ve revealed to me,
    guard it now, guard it ever;
And I’ll stride freely through wide open spaces
    as I look for your truth and your wisdom.

 Train me in good common sense;
    I’m thoroughly committed to living your way.
Before I learned to answer you, I wandered all over the place,
    but now I’m in step with your Word.
You are good, and the source of good;

 What you say goes, God,
    and stays, as permanent as the heavens.
Your truth never goes out of fashion;
    it’s as up-to-date as the earth when the sun comes up.

 Save me! I’m all yours.

Thank you Jesus for gifting me Psalm 119. I hope to have it on my heart all summer. 

Lastly I leave you this verse I also got from Jesus today. 

Its from Job 31:1-4 
But I will just share the last sentence:

Isn't God looking, observing how I live? Doesn't He mark every step I take?

If you love Jesus remember everything you think, view, read, do affects your relationship with Him. 

This summer be on guard against that lion that wants nothing but to ruin your summer!

Because of Christ.